It’s 2018 and everyone is shouting out their “New Year, New Me” resolutions.
But let’s be honest.
You probably came home from the bars last night around 4 a.m after forcing your Uber driver to stop at Taco Bell and decipher your slurred, incoherent order before you finally curled up to your cheesy fiesta potatoes in your jam-jams, just like you do every other weekend.
Oh, shit. No, that was me… oops.
Anyway, if you’re reading this, it’s not too late.
Put down that crunchwrap and listen up.
New Year’s resolutions tend to be swept under the rug by the end of January, if not earlier. So, let’s ditch the unrealistic expectations and set some actual goals that even us lazy girls can meet.
A solid 90% of all January 1st promises circle around getting healthy or exercising or eating better or blah, blah, blah.
But what really happens is you eat a salad, spend 30 minutes at a Planet Fitness, then decide that you deserve that leftover chocolate your mom stuffed in Christmas stocking.
One mini-Hershey’s turns into ten, and before you know it, you’re five hours into rewatching The Office for the millionth time, covered in candy wrappers and shame.
Eventually, there comes a point when you realize something needs to change. What better time than now?
The gym sucks, I get it. We all know the gym is the worst place in the world. Sweaty people are grunting everywhere, fratty Chad is checking himself out in the mirror every five minutes, and little miss Barbie is continuously snapping pics for the gram.
Luckily for us non-athletic folk, there are several home workouts for beginners that work just as well as a gym.
The last obstacle is actually getting off the couch to do them.
Luckily, ya girl is here to tell you that even you — yes, you, scrolling on your phone with Cheetos fingers — can find the motivation to get off the couch and start on your way to a healthier lifestyle!
Once you start following these seven tips to stay motivated while working out at home, drinking more water, taking shorter naps and stop eating so much Taco Bell, it’s so over for those bitches.
1. For motivation, you have to ditch the “All-or-Nothing Attitude”
Adding even a little bit of exercise each day is way better than nothing. And in no time, you’ll be feeling the positive effects on your mental, physical, and emotional health.
You do not have to spend hours in the gym right off the bat. Start slowly by beginning with only a few exercises a day, or allowing yourself to do only half of a workout.
After a few days, these moves will get easier and you’ll be able to add on to your routine with no problem.
Working out at home means choosing how hard you push yourself. However, this can be a double-edged sword. Slack off, and you don’t have anything to hold you accountable like a $50 membership coming out of your bank every month.
Make 2018 the year that you actually put the work in and start bettering yourself. The struggle might be real, but so are the rewards.
Understanding and admitting that you’re a lazy bitch is the first step to fixing the problem, right? Buckle up buttercup, it’s time to accept who you are and work on finding some exercises perfect for the lazy girl.
2. Motivate yourself by putting on gym clothes
If you’re having issues getting motivated to do some in-home fitness, put on that cute tank top and shorts combo that you bought last week, lace up your Nikes, and whip that hair up into the most Ariana Grande-esque ponytail you can manage.
Doing this will give you some confidence while you work out and give you an excuse to look cute while doing it!
My mom always told me, “dress good, feel good, do good,” and this always works for me. Never doubt a mother’s genius.
I’m not sure if it’s the guilt of sitting on my couch in my workout clothes or the actual clothes that do the trick but believe me, it’s magic.
Or, if you feel the most comfortable in a baggy shirt and shorts or sweats, rock that instead. The beauty of an at home fitness plan is that you’re in your house. You can do whatever the hell you want.
3. Find the right workout for you
Listen, we all know that most workout videos are made by skinny, perfectly toned women who like to yell at you in an “encouraging tone”. Looking at you, Jillian Michaels.
As for me, I want real women fitness routines that show me an easier way to do a squat lateral raise, because I sure as hell don’t know how to do that by myself.
Finding the right workout is super important because once you find one you love, it’ll make actually doing it way more enjoyable.
Once you find that perfect lazy girl workout, be sure to recognize your own limits and know when enough is enough. We all want that perfect booty, but no one needs to hurt themselves trying to get it.
Working out should be a choice you make because you want to make yourself happier, not other people.
Once you get up and get moving, I promise you won’t regret it.
Until the day after leg day. Everyone hates the day after leg day. Especially in a third-floor apartment.
4. Schedule your workouts. Make them a priority.
I definitely understand the struggle of being busy. We’re women, and after all, we are basically conquering the world these days, so it’s understandably difficult to find time to workout at home.
One thing that helps me is scheduling my workouts in my calendar. I may be a garbage person the majority of the day, but during that sectioned off time frame, I’m fully committed to my fitness plan.
Penciling in a few easy at-home workouts for women will make your goals more attainable, and will give you a sense of pride when you get to check it off your list of things to do that day.
Seriously, a finished to-do list rustles my jimmies every time.
If I learned anything from my crazy middle school science teacher, it’s that “failing to plan is planning to fail” and getting a perm at 40 is probably not a good idea.
So, take the first step and plan your activities as best you can around your busy schedule!
5. Be realistic about your fitness goals
Make your workouts a “new year, new me” free zone.
No one can change that quickly, and you should not let yourself believe that you can.
Becoming a healthier you takes time and patience. Understanding that you didn’t get this out of shape overnight will help you realize that, duh, you can’t get your ideal body overnight either.
Expecting too much too soon only leads to frustration, which could cause you to give up easily. Rome wasn’t built in a day. The same goes for your spring break bod.
I am definitely that person that works out for a week, then throws a tantrum when I haven’t lost any inches. I’m learning not to be such a dramatic child and maybe with these tips, you can, too!
It’s important to not get discouraged by a scale or measurements when attempting to achieve your fitness goals. Be sure to focus on consistency over results and be aware of your mood and energy changes. Once those start, physical payoffs won’t be too far behind!
6. Pair your workouts with something you enjoy
If you’re a Netflix fanatic or seriously Spotify junkie, it’s so simple to pair your exercises with something you normally do. This makes the time go by so much faster!
You could easily watch a workout video on mute while Grey’s Anatomy plays on your laptop. Sure, you may get a little distracted by McSteamy or McDreamy, but at least you’re moving more than you would. (Although, both get your heart rate up.)
Some other ways you can incorporate your hobbies into your routine are dancing to music while doing household chores, walking the golf course instead of driving a cart, or taking photos on your next scenic hike.
Anything that gets you off the couch will be better for you than a three-hour Netflix binge, I promise.
7. Don’t Give Up!
Let’s pretend you stop being a couch potato and take my advice on how to stay motivated when doing at home fitness. Your routine is catching on beautifully and you actually start seeing progress!
But then, maybe a weekend trip comes up or you catch a cold, so you stop working out for a couple of days. And maybe those couple days turn into full weeks. Soon enough, you’re right back where you started.
Reclaim your routine, beeyatch!
People fall off the exercise wagon all the time. The most important thing is to always dust off the cookie crumbs and climb back on. All you need to do is evaluate where you are with regards to your goals, and start fresh.
No guilt, no shame. A new slate.
Remember how much better you felt and all the progress you were making. Maybe even come up with a reward when you make back it to one of your goals.
The only thing stopping you is yourself, so tell that inner bitch to back off and resume your glow up.
There ya have it, kids. Those are my tips for staying motivated at home or in a gym if you’re into the Chad and Barbie types.
Hopefully, they help you a little, but if not, don’t blame me. I have no clue what I’m doing here either.
Good luck on your lazy girl fitness journey and always remember that you’ve always been beautiful. You’re just deciding to be healthier, fitter, faster and stronger!